


Heart of the Executioner

by Hazakura



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Internal Monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-05 11:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11576904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazakura/pseuds/Hazakura
Summary: Being an executioner means that you have to shoulder a certain burden.





	Heart of the Executioner

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why the France team looks so interesting for me. I'm not familiar with history of France but I tried to stay as close as possible to the fact (though I used the game profile for my primary data).  
> I rarely write in 1st person, so I don't know it it's good enough... I hope so.  
> Inspired by Sanson's max bond craft essence.

—I despise my life.

I know I have no rights to say so, as I lived a much better life compared to many people of my country during that era. In fact, I—and many respectable families— lived in luxury, thanks to the King and Queen. Unlike so many people in that era, I never had to experience hunger, let alone poverty.

Even so, I still despise my life.

 

When I was alive, I was known as an executioner. My family had been executioners for generations. Yet at the same time, I was also a physician, to some extent. 

Someone who save people’s life with one hand and end people’s life with another hand. What a loathsome irony.

 

I can't say that I like my job as executioner, but at the very least, I do my job properly. I executed many criminals with heavy crimes. I don't enjoy killing, absolutely not. Executioners are not killers. They are the blade of law, only pointed to those who are guilty. If their sins towards the living could be redeemed by their death, if their deaths are needed for the sake of innocent people, than shall be it. As an exchange, I shall share their sin and give them a proper departure, in a least painful and as humanely as possible. That, before the discovery of guillotine.

 

It supposed to be a great discovery. Guillotine was a great execution tool. It’s quite easy to use, not too messy, fast, and much less painful than the previous execution methods.

Yet—

I never forget how strong the Queen’s opinion against the use of guillotine. I could see that she hates it so much. It was an evil thing, she said. At first, I didn't understand. It was true that a public execution using guillotine became quite a scene at first, and the fact that many people came to watch someone die is quite sickening. But saying that guillotine is evil was too much… Or so I thought. By the time I realized the true nature of guillotine, it was way too late.

 

Killing became so easy with guillotine. Way too easy. It's so practical that everyone can operate it. Death is certain for the victims. What else left to complain about?

It was the  _ weight _ . The heavy sensation of execution. The weight of ending someone’s life. The weight of  _ killing _ .

Before I knew it, my blade has become dull. I used my blade less and less. Before the guillotine appeared, I had to feel the weight of my blade every time I perform an execution. But not anymore. Execution became more and more practical. The method was so easy that the number of people died before its blade seemed to be forgotten.

Was guillotine really a tool of judgment? Or was it merely a tool for killing? Had I known this sooner, do I have the strength to destroy the guillotine? Ah, I don't know…

 

By the time I realized this, something already happened. Something, under the name of 「revolution」. A word that changed the whole country. 

 

Everything happened so fast. The monarchy has fallen. The King and Queen were blamed for people’s sufferings. People had enough. The gap between royalty and peasants were too wide. People starved and angry. Before I knew it, the verdict has come. It was  _ execution _ .

 

It was a complex feeling. Unlike many other people, I don't hate them. The King and Queen gave me and my family so many privileges. In my personal opinion, they’re not as terrible as the revolutionaries had claimed. They might be guilty, but I’m not completely agree with the way the revolutionaries treated them. But I keep my opinion for myself, for I have to remain neutral. Their favors towards my family should have nothing to do with this. If they're deemed guilty by the court, if their death were necessary for the sake of  _ revolution _ , than so be it.

 

The verdict has finally came. The Queen should be executed with a guillotine, the thing she hate so much. It was such an irony, that it's almost laughable. A very bitter laugh, that is.

 

I don't want to say much about that day. Even so, I remembered everything. She was almost fearless. Not even once did she let her head down when they brought her with an open cart to the execution place. It was humiliating, but it doesn't seem to affect her. She remained calm and said nothing. Nothing but that last sentence, when she stepped on my foot.

 

“I’m sorry, Sir. I meant not to do it.”

 

I merely did my job. I didn't feel remorseful or anything. But still, for hundred years I wondered if she really meant what she said back then. I wondered did she actually hate me. In the end, like it or not, I am an executioner. I was born as an executioner and an executioner shall I become. It doesn't matter what I think about people I executed. I should serve my country and justice as whole. As long as they’re guilty of sins, I shall deliver their last judgment, no matter who they are.

 

***

 

—I despise my life. 

It appears that even after my death, I'm still known as an executioner. It's a laughable fact that most people expects my  _ killing _ skill, as an Assassin class Servant. How ironic is it to see an executioner, the one who are supposed to kill only evils and wrongdoers, had to be a killer? Executioners are not killers. Then again, this must be my karma. Ending someone’s life, no matter what the reason, is not a thing without consequences. It’s a heavy burden that should be shouldered by an executioner. If my role in this world is to share the sins of people and give them a proper departure, than shall be it.

 

Ah, those Masters… They should’ve known who I am before they summoned me. They should’ve known my reputation. They should’ve known that I am the hand of judgment.

Had they choose to be the embodiment of evil in this already tainted world, I, Charles-Henri Sanson, the executioner of France, shall cut off their sins with my own blade—


End file.
